It seems like I am the fool this april. Sometimes things are just not meant to be, even though u tried ur "best". Maybe I never tried at all, what classifies as effort anyways? It didn't last long so I think I'm pretty ok with it? Anyways, I think the populace who practice buddhism in this country is pretty hypocritical. At every level it defies the very teaching of buddha, I think wanting and greed is built into the nature of human beings. To become enlightened is to let go of all humanly characteristics, that is to say there would be no compassion left. At the end of the day I feel like the people just want something to believe in so they won't go insane. I wrote all this because I went an entire day without my laptop lol.

What the fuck am I doing, I literally have a physics test in 18 hours and I'm not studying for it. My grades are still pretty high tho so I'll probably apply for that MEXT scholarship. Thankfully the one thing that is no longer in my life are the toxic ppl. No more trauma! Gonna build a BACII countdown display with my spare arduino from my old russian teacher later! Update on that l8r, I promise this time.

I guess it's been a year since I've started writing diary entries. It's good to jot down what I'm thinking about sometimes. I know it's not the most consistent dairy in the world but, I hope it will be something the future me can reflect upon. I was super cringe last year lollll, still drinking tho(that never changed).

Actually, my inner peace is not dependent on external circumstances. In fact, by caring for myself I'm caring for the world. External trauma can't be healed until we heal the trauma within ourselves.

hihihihi, i didnt forget about this i promise. So ive been working on a proxy for pterodactyl panel lately, thats nice and easy. I want to find girlfriend experience dataset to fine tune my silly llm. Plans for twitch ai streamer like neuro sama but long way away from that currently!

Wow i didnt even push the last diary entry to github www, got paid for some work the other day writing backend code for llm inference. Summer is almost over and i went to vietnam. That was fun i guess, getting back into osu! and chinese web novels. Need to study hard for bacii, but rn sleep schedule is fucked and hopefully i can wake up the next morning!

Someone in the exurb1a discord server was saying they were writing their journal in python comments or something(!?), that reminded me about this diary kek. Long time no update lol. Will try to update more often, I've been doing a lot of AI/ML (generic I know) stuff. Finishing some backend projects, the usual.

I haven't written an entry in a while, busy doing work. Finished my midterms and a lot of commissions. Kind of in a slump right now, fucking couples everywhere. Valentines day coming up soon, it's going to be another lonely year :(

Imagine liking someone for such a long time but they just couldn't tell you they have a boyfriend smh, fml.

Fuck me man, I was going to write this entry earlier but now its like 9pm. School is more tiring than I thought, I have an exam to prepare for next week. Math is my "specialty" so I think it would be fine. The worst thing right now is that she acts like nothing happens but thats okay, that's what it should be like anyways :).

Shiiiit, I guess being sleep deprived and eating seafood does not go together. I was out for an entire day and I still feel like shit. Fucking hate school, I feel so sick and I'm still forced to attend. This is it for now, I'll write another one later.